October 17, 2005
Shortly after I legally changed my name I noticed sharper, quicker access to my feelings along with increased ability to move them through my body.
I created Taye as a body of awareness for the mental subtle body that had been stripped for many years.
Jim was not able to adjust. He felt angry and resentful. He's known me for over twenty years and he felt disrespected, separated and foreign. I was responsible for causing that backlash. I understood. Jim was my friend and I really did welcome his feedback. I was actually moved by his angry reaction. I thought "If I was powerful enough to trigger such a strong response then my behavior has really impacted him." I felt no need to retaliate.
I did not take on his thinking. I called in guardians to take what was coming at me that I deemed as not true, down an energetic shoot I built from my tail bone straight to the fire in the earth's center. Using the power of intention and my imagination I neutralized what didn't belong in my body. Jim thought, "I was rejecting Barbara to become Taye." My truth was, "I was expanding Barbara by creating Taye."
Perhaps there would be a way to reclaim my power while also remaining grounded within my relationships; actually intending a new energy flow for the relationship, and especially when I make significant changes in my life. Then perhaps separateness wouldn't necessarily mean the end of the relationship, but the beginning of new possibilities between us.