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FEAR OF LOSING A JOB
The last couple of weeks my daughter turned ill and even needed some antibiotics to get over it. She is fine now. One of the consequences of this event was that I was forced to remain at home with her. I couldn't go to work and there were a few times that I needed to contact my boss to tell him about it.
Nobody seemed bothered by this and my collegues were actually very interested and friendly, but somehow I was experiencing a kind of nervousness that was clearly out of the ordinary. It seemed as if some deeply rooted fear was surfacing. You need to know that I haven't taken a single day off due to any illness during the last 10 years. Somehow I believed that I needed to be almost on the verge of death to stay at home and not go to work.
Even though it was my daughter that had turned sick, it felt as if I was the one who was sick when I contacted my boss about it and asked him permission to stay home. I almost freaked at the idea that she would stay ill for longer: what would my boss think? What was this 'panic' all about?
ANU SLAVE FEAR
When I realized that my response was irrational I started to ask myself if I could find any possible reason for this strange behavior. After a while a certain thought arose in my mind that proposed a link to anu slave ancestry. How likely is it that this irrational fear that filled my system was an echo of the fear that millions of Anu Slaves must have felt during their lives?
The Anu Slaves would have been created by our Anu ancestors to do the 'nasty' work for them, like working in the mines to dig gold. These slaves were only useful as long as they were able to do their work properly. As soon as a slave showed signs of weakness or disease they were probably treated in the same fashion as chicken in the bio-industry: they were removed from the mines (or from any other place that they worked) and were exterminated. I don't think that the Anu were inclined to give these unproductive Anu Slaves a friendly retirement until they would die of natural causes.
Perhaps the Anu overseeing their Anu Slaves were not as merciless as I portray them here, but for me it has become the most likely explanation for my irrational fear: if my boss would notice that I was turning 'unproductive' I might be exterminated just as so many of my anu slave ancestors have been killed in times past (and probably many slaves in modern times). Who needs someone who is not useful for those in power? Are we able to imagine the fear many people must have felt whenever they noticed something failing in their bodies? If it were to be noticed by their 'masters' they were likely not only to lose their job, but their lives as well.
FEAR AND KARMA
In Cut the Athena Crap I write about my doubts on the usefulness of spending too much time on our Anu (Slave) history, especially when the only information you have is from Mila and you simply need to take her word for it.
However, I guess that - whether I like it or not - I am often forced to look at some of our Anu(slave) past in order to transmute certain present thought forms. I know someone who adores the word 'karma' and she recently contacted me to tell me that I needed to release more karma. Is this current issue of 'fear of losing your job (and your life)' an example of karma or is it an example of a particular fear that has been ingrained into my genetics, or perhaps both?
If I understand the intensity of the fear of all those Anu Slaves involved and consequently understand the background for my current irrational response I might be able to transmute this thought-form and move on. Do I release karma this way or am I providing an example on how to deal with these kinds of irrational fears and thereby contribute to the likelihood of other people to unnerve this thought-form as well (in the way as described in Tuning Your Heart)?
TO SEE BOTH SIDES
I truly think that due to this realization my fear has decreased and a certain block in my process has been removed (at least for now). I guess that in order to speak about the true release of karma you need to be able to see both sides. In this case it would mean that not only do I link the fear to the fear many Anu Slaves must have felt, but I would also need to forgive the Anu (and leading Anu Slaves) who were responsible for this fear.
A question that pops up is: am I able to forgive the practices of the Anu when I do not have the particular Anu lineages that were responsible for this fear in the Anu Slaves? Can I clear karma for those Anu Lineages when I would allow myself to produce thoughts like: "I forgive these Anu for what they have done, for they were in a highly fractured magnetic state of being and they didn't realize what they were doing"? Or can only those people who actually carry within them Anu lineages to those that were responsible for this Anu Slave fear induction release the karma?
If Mila says that she forgives certain Anu for what they have done, does that really change anything in the Anu lineages that she forgives? Or do you need people who carry (pure) Anu lineages themselves to clear their own distorted modes of thinking by addressing the origin of their distortions and by introducing alternative less harmful thought-forms?
If anyone can assist in these rather complicated matters, please do so.
Gibbon,
January 2007