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INTRODUCTION
During the last couple of weeks I was confronted with two periods of about four days each in which my vibration somehow sunk to a lower level. This didn't really feel comfortable. I want to devote this turtle to the exploration of what happenened and what I have learnt from it. This biological ascension process doesn't seem to be free of obligations.
DISCIPLINE
I have tried to come to terms with what has been happening, so I devised a theory that might put things in a useful perspective for me. This little theory has received 'belly confirmation' so it will probably be worth adopting for the time being.
The idea is that during the process you increase your average vibratory level. This means that the average vibration of your thoughts increases during the years. At a certain stage in the process it becomes harder to sustain a certain average vibration when you still allow a number of low-vibratory thoughts to move around in your consciousness. Apparently you are not allowed to fool around too much at a certain stage because it immediately leads to a fall in awareness.
In a way I have allowed myself to become 'dependent' on my breath and my vibration. It can probably be compared with some body builder who needs to continue doing his exercises in order to keep his muscles in shape. I have noticed that I need to be more disciplined, for if I am not, it becomes harder to sustain my body and mind properly. If all this would really be true in a way, it would imply that I need to follow some 'thought-diet' together with some other vibratory rules in order to keep myself in a sound 'ascending' shape. If I decide to neglect it I will notice it right away: my mind will become dimmer and my body will feel worse. There might just not be enough energy to keep it all moving at the right speed.
DO I WANT ALL THIS?
If I for the moment continue in this line of reasoning, there is something paradoxical about this situation. I want to ascend or move up in vibration by becoming more sovereign and less dependent, but at the same time I allow myself to become more dependent on my own thoughts and behavior. If I decide to start living recklessly I might suffer harder than someone who has not participated in any 'ascension experiment' whatsoever. In a way I am not as 'free' as I used to be.
It seems that if I want to go further in this process I need to accept that this requires more responsibility and discipline. Do I want a situation in which I experience a rapid decline of vibration whenever I do not pay attention to something that requires attention? Am I willing to remain focused on certain intentions and goals nearly all of the time? It seems that being without intentions can already prove to be rather 'risky' since it implies that you are not directing your life and in a certain phase you need to take responsibility for directing your life every moment of the day. If you would actually become more 'powerful' due to your vibration you cannot allow yourself to be indecisive anymore and just move in some automatic pilot mode.
I need enough hours sleep during the night. Sometimes there are circumstances in which I do not get enough sleep leading to a feeling of tiredness. This tiredness alone can trigger a vibratory fall. If I am too tired I may not feel inclined to take responsibility for every thought or feeling that I experience. I might not take it all that seriously within these moments. The same probably goes for being drunk or in love: it might influence your sense of 'responsibility' for your mental hygiene. Whenever there is too much going on at work or in my family it might easily lead to a partial 'ascension negligence'.
NO GAME ANY MORE
If this turns out to be true it would mean that certain attachments to people can lead to a vibratory fall. I would need to pay attention to that more often. I also cannot allow myself to be occupied with various email-contacts at the same time: I need to focus on certain matters and not allow my mind to become too dispersed. I need to look after my energy and my thoughts throughout the day, every day. Is this still fun? Is ascension worth all this?
Well, the answer still is YES. The main reason for wanting to continue on this quest is that I simply love to feel my breath and experience the sense of joy and creativity whenever I am in my current maximum vibration. Another thing that keeps me going is the idea of reaching for newer perspectives and the analysis of other lower-vibratory thought-systems and beliefs that I carry within me. I need to become more disciplined in order to sustain my vibrations, it is no longer free of obligations. Not delve in certain addictions any more, not engage in certain mind-numbing activities any more.
Let's see how far I can go within my current circumstances living in a middle-sized city in the Netherlands. There might come a time when I cannot reach any further, no matter how disciplined I take care of my thoughts and feelings, because the vibration of my surrounding might be too low. Let's just hope for a warm winter again.
Gibbon
October 2007